Recession, depression, economic slowdown, rising unemployment, shortage of jobs… jingle- all- the-way. For most this holiday season there doesn’t seem to be much to celebrate. For small children that means less gifts but parents can easily blame that on Santa Claus. Everyone I speak to has told me that they are cutting back this year. No extravagant gifts bought on a credit card that will be paid off in three years costing four times the original cost. The holiday buzz this season is all about small intimate gifts thoughtfully purchased on Christmas Eve at the only Dollar Store in town still open after 6PM.
Here are some other options to keep in the holiday spirit without spending a lot of money:
The family can make their own gifts using only items found in the house. For instance scraps of wood, old curtains, expired prescription drugs, old electronic equipment, napalm, etc. Unless you graduated from M.I.T it will probably be a piece of crap that everyone will say looks wonderful but will quickly wind up under the kitchen sink where it will dwell for all eternity.
Cutting down your own Christmas tree can be fun as well as inexpensive, especially if it’s from your neighbor’s front lawn. Teamwork and precision are needed if the family is going to pull this off. I advise to use a pull saw gently sprayed down with WD-40 for smoother quieter strokes. If you don’t want to spend Christmas in jail then don’t use a chain saw. I learned from experience on this one. Apparently a very light sleeper can hear a chain saw cutting down a tree on his front lawn at 3AM. Who knew?
If you don’t have much food this season then Christmas Caroling is the answer to your problem. Depending on what neighborhood you live in until foreclosure most civilized people reward carolers with fresh baked cookies, egg nog, and sliced ham. Of course in some neighborhoods it may be a bullet, a bong hit, and a ransom note. Remember, the worse you sing the faster they want you off their porch, and the more food they will give you.
Go on tour! Take the whole family to visit distant relatives you haven’t seen, spoken to, or even thought about until right now. Old friends, your second grade teacher, the guy who was on the pay phone before you…everyone you can possibly think of. Just stop and say you were in the neighborhood and wanted to drop off a gift. Now the dollar store comes in handy doesn’t it? A well wrapped 99 cent item purchased at the Dollar Store can easily look like a $14.99 item purchased at Walmart. After giving your gift and you’re invited in…then call the wife and 6 kids. The family piles out of soon-to-be-repossed car and enjoys a perfect Christmas holiday visit with virtual strangers who are scrambling to find reciprocal gifts for the entire family. You do this four or five times on a Saturday and you’ve got yourself a real holiday my friend.
Find someone less fortunate than you and give them something purchased from the Dollar Store. Their apprieciation is the best gift of all. If they don’t show apprieciation than an old- fashioned family Christmas beat-down is in order. Remember it’s the holidays, no hitting in the face. Now have some fun!
Or, you can sit in your basement like a pathetic little troll and write a blog about being creative during the holidays and help others by giving them hope through ideas even though the ideas are moronic and in no way helps anyone but is more of an self-indulgent waste of time until you go to the gym and work out. This one worked for me, later.