The Race is on. The gloves are off…and Nobody Cares

With the elections looming just a mere 20 months away the campaigning has already begun. Hillary Clinton has tossed her John Deere baseball hat in the ring. Obama has his doo-rag in as well. John McCain is giving it another shot and “Super Mayor” Rudy Giulianai has thrown his comb over into the feeding frenzy.  I am still haunted by the last elections held this past November. The barrage of sleazy mud-slinging television ads and constant coverage from the media made it nearly impossible to escape. I noticed as I had conversations with friends, students and colleagues that virtually everyone else felt the same way that I did. We all agreed that some of the personal attacks on candidates were so underhanded that I wondered why anyone would ever go into politics in the first place.  I think what bothers most people is the negative attacks on opposing candidates, flip-flopping on ideals or past decisions and of course lying.

It is well known in Washington that the Clintons have taken negative attacks and lying to new levels of political barbarism. After being evicted from the White House when the Bush’s moved in, Bill and Hillary could be seen jamming presidential memorabilia like furniture, paintings, and the Declaration of Independence into the RV to start the long ride back to the trailer park in Arkansas. Somehow they took a wrong turn and wound up in New York where Hillary ran for congress while Bill worked on the opening of his memorial library in Arkansas. His idea for a “Book Mobile” type presidential library on wheels was disapproved when he wanted to add a pornographic section behind a red curtain. The rest as we know it is tragedy. The people of New York in their infinite wisdom elected Hillary as their senator even though their was wide spread speculation that she ultimately had her eye on the presidency and a U-Haul back to the White House. To think that we have to spend the next twenty months listening to Hillary Clinton’s fake southern drawl every time she visits the south is horrifying. Ever since that house fell on her sister in Oz she has been out of control. This brings me to another point that I haven’t heard anyone bring up. The current front runners in this upcoming election are three senators, a governor, and a former mayor. Senators and Governors are elected officials who are paid a salary to represent and work for the people of their state. With twenty months of campaigning ahead of them I wonder who is taking care of the day to day responsibilities of their currently elected posts? If I was a citizen of New York who voted for Hillary Clinton I would feel slighted. As a candidate you are no longer dedicated to serving the public who elected and entrusted you.

I believe that the rules for campaigning for public office need to be overhauled and strict rules need to be introduced and enforced.  The first rule would be that anyone who currently holds an elected or appointed public office that runs for a higher office must resign their current post. The public isn’t paying for half a job. No place in business or the corporate world would you keep an employee who is spending their work time seeking a better job. Every race has a start and a finish. An election should be no different. Campaigning, fund raising, and soliciting of any kind would not begin until nine months before the elections. Nine months is plenty of time to get your message to the American people. Twenty months of listening to any candidate is just too much to ask anyone to bear. Another rule would address fairness and negativity in advertising. Personal attacks on opposing candidates will not be permitted. The issues, past voting decisions, performance in office, and experience may be brought up and questioned. Religion, past drug use, marital status, and any other personal attacks will not be allowed and may result in a fine, public apology, and perhaps a flogging by Nancy Pelosi on the White House lawn.

If the current trend of ridiculously expensive long dragged out campaigns strewn with opponent bashing, scandal, lying and speaking to the American people like we are five year olds continues people will never get a clear picture of who the candidates really are. Voters just like politicians make mistakes and those mistakes can be easily corrected in the next election. If the campaign for President of the United States is going to be nothing more than performance theatre than we may as well cancel the election now and let Randy, Paula, and Simon pick the next President.